This story takes place right after Kirk was lost in the Nexis from Star Trek; Generations

Captain Harriman stared out into the void exposed from the hull breach. All he could think about was what would Starfleet Command say. He had found Commanders Scott and Chekov there, staring for what seemed like an eternity, barely hearing what was said. "Was anybody in there?" was Pavel's remark. Chekov had been in sickbay unaware that someone had gone down do fix the array. It did not take long for Chekov to realize who had been in there and why Scotty was reacting the way he was.

"Come," said a voice behind them. Harriman realized it was his own. "We need to seal this area off. There is nothing we can do. We need to get the survivors back and inform Starfleet. The media will have a field day with this"

Scotty and Pavel turned to see the newest captain of the Entrprise-B. A look of anger and accusation in their eyes. How could he let this happen? Barely registering what Captain Harriman was saying, Scotty spoke barely keeping his anger in check. His brogue coming through as it did in times of stress or anger.

"Like hell they will. No media is go'in to know aboot this 'til after his family is informed first." Scotty was thinking of McCoy, Spock, Kirk's nephew Peter, and the rest of his shipmates. "I don't want no Starfleet vid or media circus inform'm 'em o' this."

"I was not aware that Admiral Kirk had any family," Captain Harriman said.

"His shipmates were 'is family. He also has a nephew. It needs a personal touch. Ye didn't know him like we did. Please, Cap'in. Let me do this."

With Scotty's last plea, the anger had subsided. The Captain stood there silent as stone. "All right. I'll hold off the media, though they may have already speculated about it. They knew Kirk was down here. I'll see what can be done about repairs."

****

Captain Harriman stayed in his quarters for the trip back to spacedock and Starfleet Headquarters. He relinquished command to Ensign Sulu with protests from his first officer sighting regulations. Thinking back to the privacy of his ready room (a new feature aboard this new Enterprise), the Captain indicated to his first officer that it wasn't wise for him to question his orders while there were so many media still aboard.

"Ensign Sulu is capable of being in command for this trip home. I trust her abilities and if there is trouble, she will let us know."

After the first officer left, Captain Harriman nearly callapsed. Embarrassed and distraught over what had happened, he made his way to his cabin and did not emerge. He could not face the crew after what had happened. They were unable to save one ship and only part of another. 369 lives were lost, including the one man who could have saved them all if he, Captain Harriman, had not hesitated. The loss of Admiral Kirk hung on the air like a death's head. The crew was silently working, but not aware. Their grief as heavy as a white dwarf. No weapons, no medical team, no tractor beam, and only one transporter working. How could Starfleet have sent them out in that shape? What really angered Harriman was that Starfleet knew. Still, Starfleet could not have anticipated that they would be needed so soon.

'Even I should have known that a maiden run was out of the question,' he thought. 'If we had posponed it by a week, the ship would have been fine. Admiral Kirk would still be alive. Then again, maybe no one would have been saved. The 47 lives they did save counted for something didn't it? Still, I let Starfleet's most decorated hero go into a dangerous situation without sending a backup and he was lost due to my neglegence and hesitation. But if I hadn't let him take command, we may have all perished. I am not worthy to be a starship captain.'

****

"Are you sure, Captain?"

Captain Harriman stood ramrod straight. A look of pain and sadness in his eyes.

"Yes, sir."

"This is a great honor. You saved many lives."

"It wasn't me sir and more lives were lost than saved." The Admiral did not seem to hear what Captain Harriman was saying.

"That happens sometimes. Not all missions will be successful. You did save some lives. What do you mean it wasn't you? You're the captain. Didn't you give the orders? Weren't you on the bridge?"

"I was sir but . . . It wasn't me who saved the passengers or the ship."

"Then who was it?"

Harriman had reframed from making a full report until now. To report such a loss over subspace channels was not wise Commander Scott had said. Knowing Kirk's reputation for making enemies, as well as friends, there would be too many others who would rejoice at the loss. But Captain Harriman had to tell someone, so he sent a special coded message to Admiral Drake only. The message also stated that no one else but the family of the deceased was to know what happened and that a report would be filed later after the return of the Enterprise-B. Now, facing Admiral Riley, he wished he had at least filed a partial report besides telling Admiral Drake so he would not have to face Admiral Riley's scrutiny.

"Captain, I am waiting."

Best to get it over with. "It was Kirk, sir."

"Kirk, I should have known. Well, where is he? Basking in the media?" humor now playing on the Admiral's face. It was apparent that the Admiral knew Kirk but did not know what had happened. Admiral Drake had kept his word. Captain Harriman hesitated. Not knowing how to begin.

"Well, I'm waiting."

"Uhm, he's dead, sir." Harriman's voice was low.

"What!"

"He told me that my place was on the bridge. He went down to fix our foreward array and..."

"Enough! It was your responsibility to protect him. Admiral Kirk literally saved this planet and the Federation!"

"I know, sir. That's why I am resigning, sir."

"Resigning, why?"

"There could only be one man in that center seat and I am not that man. You will have to find someone else."

"Explain yourself, Captain."

"Admiral," stated Harriman, "It takes a very special kind of person to command a starship. James Kirk was very special. I haven't done anything in my life to really warrant the reward of commanding a starship. I may have passed all my exams, did some starship duty on the Lexington, but not the kind that really counts. I may have had a good record and stayed out of trouble, but someone like Jim Kirk needs to be willing to take the risks. When we got the word that we were needed for that rescue mission, I hesitated. I knew we weren't ready, but when I looked over at Admiral Kirk, I had to try. But in my opinion, that mission was only a partial success, no, mostly a failure because so many lives were lost. Those people should not have died, including Admiral Kirk. Even so, he was willing to risk whatever it took to save those people and the ship. I know I couldn't say the same thing. Because I hesitated, too many people died. I am not worthy of this command."

"Are you finished" Captain Harriman bowed his head. "Harriman, you are wrong. And before you protest hear me out. It takes a big man to admit his mistakes and his feelings. I know you are not Kirk, but if he were here, he would say, and I think I know him pretty well, that you need to make that center seat yours. It wasn't your fault that the Enterprise-B wasn't properly prepared with full crew and all her equipment in place. No one anticipated that you were going to be needed in such a short time, but we all must make the best of a bad situation. You made some mistakes. You at least kept your head and you did what was necessary. You only get one chance at being in that center seat. If you truly want to command, make that seat yours and don't let anyone remove you from it until you are ready to pass the torch. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir."

"Now get back to your ship, Captain."

"Yes, sir, and thank you."

"Don't thank me. Thank Admiral Kirk. It was him that recommended you in the first place. Something to do with having taken control when the Lexington's Captain was unable to complete some necessary negotiations that prevented a war and also having rescued some children stranded on a moon in the Beta Lyra system."

"I was only doing my job sir," said Harriman, suddenly realizing that maybe he had done something after all.

"I know, but the way you handled those missions must have made enough of an impression to have one man place so much faith in you. And I do know when Kirk makes a recommendation, he's usually right. Good luck, Captain."

End