Title: A Letter to Matthew Caine

Characters: Kwai Chang Caine

Warnings: None

Storyline: Kwai Chang after his ordeal in the Bardo world, writes a letter to his father asking for forgiveness.

Copyright © 1998 by Alisa Joaqun

Dear Father,

I take pen in hand and write to you on an important matter. I ask forgiveness for the wrong that I have committed. I did not know that I had such feelings of abandonment hidden inside of me. When I learned that you were alive in France, and I saw you again in the church, it was a bitter sweet reunion. Somewhere deep in me I wanted to ask you why and yet, I tried to hide those feelings because I was shaolin and a shambhala master. I tried to put those feelings aside. But, when you appeared in the Bardo, I did not know what to think. I had just witnessed the pain and suffering that I had caused and I did not know what you were doing there. When you said you had a path for me to follow, I laughed and said I had already chosen my path. We argued and when you told me that you loved me, I did not believe you. Then when I dared to strike out at you, you disappeared, leaving me with my misery and my pain. I tried to call you back, but you did not return. I am sorry father, I did not want to hurt you. After you disappeared, my son and Lo Si, the Ancient forced me to face my life again and showed the good that I had done. They were instrumental in brining me back and I chose life. Being back among friends and my son, I realized now how Peter must have felt. Abandonded, alone, and no father to comfort him when needed. Without realizing it, those 15 years without Peter were a reminder of our own relationship. Being in the Bardo has shown me what I have also missed. I have missed you father, more than you or I have realized. We must find a way to be together, at least for a while before time takes you from me, again. We must not take for granted what we have left. You would be proud of Peter. He is turning into a very powerful shaolin though me may not know it yet. Someday soon, he will have to choose a path for himself. When that day comes, I will come and see you one last time. I love you, father.

Your loving son,

Kwai