This takes place right after the episode with the art robbery and before Requiem. It is strictly Peter thinking about his life and the final decision he must make.
Peter stared out the window from his apartment that night. The "adventure" at the art show and his subsequent conversation with his father left him feeling unsettled. He knew he would need to make a decision about what path he would take regarding his future and destiny. He knew it would have to be soon. He felt somehow it would involve helping his father and it would not be just any ordinary event, if you could call any event with his father ordinary.
The completion of his Shaolin training helped him to become more aware then he had ever been. These past 4 years with his father helped to alleviate the feelings of anger and abandonment. He understood that his father had also been suffering similar feelings during that time they were apart. Peter could now reflected back on that time without fear. He understood that his father had also been injured and he had not seen that Peter was alive. All his father saw was two small forms laying among the debris, lifeless. When Peter called to him, his father was going to the aid of others and had not seen the truth. The flames raging around them also prevented Peter's voice from being heard. Then Peter passed out from the pain and smoke. The next thing Peter remembered from that time was waking up on a stretcher, wrapped in blankets in another part of the temple that was still somewhat intact, and then receiving the news that his father had not survived.
It took a long time after that for Peter to trust anyone, to even begin to love anyone, again. All that he knew had been lost. Not until Captain Blaisdell and his family did Peter begin to open up, and even then it took about a year. But there was still something inside him that held him back from loving them too much. In his heart, Peter wanted to deny eveything, even to deny that Kwai Chang Caine ever lived but he knew he could not do it. His father had, did live. When Peter found him again, it was with great joy and yet, something needed to cry out and ask "WHY DID IT HAPPEN? WHY DID HE ABANDON ME? DID HE EVEN CARE?"
Peter was to learn during the four years that they were together that his father did care and loved him deeply. He also learned that his father not only suffered pain from the temple's destruction but deep grief and guilt overhelmed him at what he believed was the loss of his son. Each had been brought to a grave site (the same one it would seem). While Peter raged and swore revenge, his father Kwai Chang Caine suffered extreme grief and vowed to search for his son's essence without realizing it was never lost.
Peter pondered his life since the destruction of the temple and his subsequent life before and after his reunion with his father. Earlier he had been so angry and filled with blind rage. But within that rage there developed a need to protect not only others, but himself from getting hurt. As he grew, Peter needed to find some way to control the rage and to pay back those that hurt him. Revenge may have been in the back of his mind, but Peter was not above using the rules to get what he wanted. The best way he could achieve that was by becoming a cop. Thinking back to when he made that decision, it was not totally made on his own. Paul Blaisdell played that most important role where if he hadn't, Peter would have certainly done it another way, and none too legally. Peter could remember after having been sent back to the orphanage a second time, this time in a different city from where he had been, for some unknown reason (or one at the time he'd prefer never to reveal) that his attitude that day had not been the best. Paul Blaisdell had come to give a lecture. He couldn't remember anymore what the topic had been about. Peter did remember that whatever Blaisdell had said stuck with him, and soon after that, Peter had gone down to see him at the precinct he had been assigned to. Later, Peter was invited to spend weekends with the Blaisdell family and then the next thing he knew, the Blaisdells took him in. They gave him what they could of their love and in his mind, gave Peter an opportunity to find the means to get his revenge in the best way possible. After Peter graduated from High School, Paul sponsored him in the Police Academy. When he graduated, he did his rookie time at the 21st Precinct. Then came the big break and he was soon assigned to the 101st. He discoverd later that Paul had been watching his career and he had specifically requested him rather than Eagleton when Peter became a new detective. Peter thought that he could go no higher. The thought of becoming a leutenant and moving on never occurred to him. He liked working in the trenches. But looking back at his career, Peter had to admit he was rather a loose cannon. There was still a lot of anger. By then the anger had been redirected but it was still there hiding just under the surface. Waiting for something to trigger it. He remembered that his skills at hand-to-hand combat were sorely lacking. He found that he used his gun more and developed into a sharp shooter. It wasn't until after his father came back into his life, that he had not realized that he blocked out a lot of memories from the Temple, especially those memories that were related to his Kung Fu training.
Peter sat back and examined his feelings during the first two years his father was there. He could remember the differences of opinion, the arguments, and the unbridled rage that seemed to come to the surface for almost no apparent reason. He felt like a child when he was around his father, while Blaisdell seemed, at that time, to be the calming factor in his life. All the questions that Peter had seemed valid to him but his father seemed reluctant to answer them. There seemed to be pain behind his father's eyes but Peter was too blind within his own pain to see. They both needed time to understand. It wasn't until the fall that he had taken in a stairwell that things changed. Peter remembered what felt like dreams. He raged at the man that was his father, his mother, and even at Paul. Blaisdell had also left him, replaced by another captain. And there was his friend and former partner, killed by a known gunman that they had been hunting. Everyone who had been a part of his life but were now gone, except his father. He had come back, but it wasn't enough. All the feelings had come out during that dream. His fear and rage, the feelings of abandonment, and then finally the feeling of shame for having them and asking for forgiveness. Soon after that, they reached a new understanding and deep love for his father replaced all.
During that time, Peter began to notice that his father had also changed. No longer was there pain behind the eyes. His father was more willing to share his life and to be more open about his wanderings. The feeling of guilt at having abandoned Peter was gone. Kwai Chang had forgiven himself. Soon after that, Peter began to remember more of his Kung Fu training each time he fought. He again showed interest in learning the lessons his father had been teaching him. Memories that would return were no longer filled with anger but understanding. And each time Peter was in a tight situation, he was using more of his Shaolin training and less of his gun. His father was also becoming more his partner everyday and he found he liked it that way. It felt right. It would seem that this night was becoming a night of deep reflection. Not since he had been a child of about 10 sitting with his father in the Temple garden had he reflected on such matters for a long time. Suddenly a small burst of light caught his attention reflected off a window across the way. It would seem his reflecting had carried him through the night. Dawn wasa breaking. It had been a long time since he had watched a sunrise.
As the day grew brighter, Peter made his decision. It was right. It was time. The toughest part will be how he would break it to the others. Knowing what was ahead, Peter turned from the window and head for the shower. He knew one thing first, his father should be the first to know of his decision. After that, the others would be easier to tell. Besides, his father and the Ancient would have to gather the other remaining monks and prepare the place. As Peter showered, he reflected back just nine month ago when he, his father, and the Ancient had gone to another Temple. It was to finish what he had started. At that time, his life had gone out of balance. He needed to find the peace that was missing from his soul. Going back and finishing his training seemed to be the most logical step. Within the weeks that followed, Peter honed his body and his spirit. A new understanding was being reached and a new awareness of the world around him was opening up. He found he could tap into abilities that he thought only his father knew. At the same time, a danger lurked within. For the first time, he had been able to stop the evil with only a small assistance from his father. For that, he was granted the right to become a full Shaolin and take the brands, but at the time, Peter felt he had not fully earned it. There was still more for him to learn. Now that time had passed, Peter had found himself reevaluating his decision.
Peter, again weighed the thought through his other awareness. It was time and it was right. He had to grow and find his true path. With his father by his side, who knows, maybe together there was even a new Temple in their future. And with that last thought, Peter finished his shower, dressed, and headed out the door to his father's loft apartment.
End